Category Archives: Tall Poppies

Firsts ARE Relevant

Female Jockey

When was a girl, I wanted to be the very FIRST female jockey. I was horse-mad. If you ever have been, you know what I am talking about. It consumed me. My imagination, my time and my reading list. Whenever I could, the horse-madness consumed my weekends at “the barn”. I ran the scholastic book club mail orders in my class; I would spend all of my allowance to max out the minimum order of five books if there weren’t enough orders, just to get the one I really wanted about a horse. I could rattle off every winner of the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes and the few Triple Crown winners.

Secretariat was my hero. Really. I don’t remember having human heroes (male or female) as a girl. I wanted to be in it. I wanted to fly with Secretariat, to be the lucky person who could fly that fast attached to his back like – well like a fly. His primary jockey, Ron Turcotte, was Canadian. I was Canadian too, and small enough, so I just KNEW. Knew with the unwavering clarity and belief that a child can have. Knew that I could do it. That WE could do it. The horse and I.

I think I was 7 or 8 when my “dream” of being the first female jockey was dashed. Diane Crump took the reins in her first professional race in 1969, then 1970 as first female jockey in the Kentucky Derby. (It would be another 23 years before a woman jockey won a Triple Crown race, when Julie Krone won the Belmont Stakes.

That was a barn-burner. Three short years later Bille Jean King famously challenged Bobby Riggs to a tennis match – and WON!!

Belief barriers were falling everywhere, just like when Roger Banister blasted through the barrier to the four-minute mile. No one thought it could be done, would ever be done. Or SHOULD be done, in many cases for women.

Turns out, it was just a thought. A thought in Roger Banisters case, that it was humanly, physically impossible. A thought in Billie Jean King’s case, that it was womanly, physically impossible. A thought, in Diane Crump’s case, that allowing a woman jockey would ruin the “sport of Kings”.

As a girl, somehow I just knew it WAS possible for a female jockey to make it in a sport dominated by men. Women are smaller right? Many race horse exercisers are women for that reason. Isn’t this the one sport where it made sense for women to compete against men?

There was something even then in my attraction to FIRSTs.

I used to think all this focus on FIRST when I was a girl was part of my inner competitiveness, a desire to push myself. What I see now, is that my excitement to want to be the first female jockey, then the  first female race car driver – that was about my wanting to be all that I COULD be, and wanting to prove that I could, that a woman COULD do those things.

The notion of being First, was really about my needing to see someone in the saddle that looked like me. I wanted someone in the race that looked like I did in my imagination. It wasn’t fair that these jockeys and race car drivers didn’t look like anyone like me. A girl. How would it be possible for me to cure horses’ diseases (my bigger WHY in my grade eight science project examining the heartbeat of horses) if I didn’t see the world as possible for me?

When Diane Crump took the pole as the first female jockey, I turned my sights to another sport most similar in my mind – race car driving! That looked like fun! Remember, I was twelve. I didn’t have a drivers licence, or even a motorcycle, yet. Until a woman stepped into that pole position, I figured it could be me, or it had to be me. So someone else would know it was possible, damn it, to be what I wanted to be.

These FIRSTs, these women who did it First – they are critical to all of those girls and women who are hungry to be ALL that they can be. It’s not “irrelevant” to name and honour these FIRSTs.

And now we actually see women who could be on that famous U.S Army commercial (circa 1981): Be all that you can be…

Side note: I almost went to the RMC – Royal Military College, partly as a result of that commercial. I WANTED to be all that I could be! Plus, I might have thought I would please my father, who fought in WWII as part of the 1st Special Services Force. But I doubt it would have; he hardly ever talked about those years, he’d seen too much.

These FIRSTs are HEROES. To get to the starting pole, they must endure more than any other competitor, or leader. Diane Crump needed a police escort to push through the mayhem at her first professional race, past shouts of “Go back to the kitchen and cook dinner!” 

As Michelle Payne, first female jockey winner of the 2015 Melbourne Cup said:

“I want to say to everyone else, ‘get stuffed’, because women can do anything and we can beat the world.”

Cue Beyonce.

#YouAreEmpowerment

Jody Wilson-Raybould

On Luck, Justice and Firsts. #YouAreEmpowering

Sometimes amazing opportunities drop in your lap. You might even call it luck. And other times, amazing opportunities come your way because you’ve worked hard your whole life, powered by a vision and passion and sought out the best people to work with and the best environment to realize your vision and passion.

The first happened to me serendipitously this Saturday. I showed up at 10 am for the CoRe Writers’ Group at the UBC Alumni Centre, where we planned to find a quiet spot to write for two hours. Those plans were immediately jettisoned when we learned about a gathering upstairs, to hear the Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada, Jody Wilson-Raybould, share her plans and priorities with Allard Law.

What luck!

Indeed, what luck to hear her speak, openly, powerfully and inspiring. What luck to catch a brief moment of her time after her private reception with a group of students. What luck for her to step into Canada’s most important lawyer!

Scratch that last one. That one is not due to luck.

This is that “other time” when amazing opportunities come your way. The Honourable Minister of Justice and Attorney General Wilson-Raybould is where she is today due to her own hard work, and hard choices, seizing an opportunity to run when her vision and passion was tested (in a watershed conversation with Stephen Harper). And to the hard line of PM Trudeau that his cabinet would be the first gender-balanced cabinet in Canadian history.

Wilson-Raybould is in the land of Firsts.

First and foremost, she is a First Nations leader and formerly the British Columbia regional chief of the Assembly of First Nations (AFN). “Puglaas” is Wilson-Raybould’s We Wai Kai name, which means “woman born to noble people.” It is also her twitter handle.

She is THE First-ever indigenous Justice Minister and Attorney General of Canada. That means she is also THE First indigenous woman to hold the office of Canada’s top prosecutor.

She is one of only two indigenous cabinet members, another First for Canada. (Inuk MP Hunter Tootoo, a former speaker of Nunavut’s legislative assembly, is Minster of Fisheries and Oceans and the Canadian Coastguard.)

One of 15 women cabinet ministers, a First ever gender-balanced federal cabinet.

Member of the First group of cabinet ministers tasked with transparent accountability to Canadians. 

As we celebrate International Women’s Day 2016, and the Pledge for Parity, it is so important to recognize those Firsts. The ones who make it possible for others.  Who lift others as they climb. Who look different, so others see themselves represented, and still others experience the value in diversity.

Among the many things that make Jody Wilson-Rabould different from her predecessors is her message of reconciliation.

Reconciliation for indigenous peoples in Canada, the disproportionately high rates of incarceration for indigenous women (41% of female inmates) and men (25% of male inmates), as well as for the families of the murdered and missing First Nations women.

And reconciliation within the processes of the court system, especially the criminal justice system. Her message on Saturday at UBC was the strongest I’ve heard on the potential for a clear role for Restorative Justice.

Wilson-Raybould’s track record with consensus-building gives hope for her success here, as well as within parliament as a whole working toward consensus instead of pugnacious partisanship. And seeking consensus driven approaches with other federal cabinet ministers to find the “best” answer on issues such as assisted dying.

“We like to believe every voice counts; not just the voices of fear.”

Listening to Wilson-Raybould, I was overwhelmed with hope. Hope for reconciliation. Hope for civility. Hope for integrity.

I also felt proud. Proud to be a lawyer. Proud to witness what to me is the best in being a lawyer – shaping the way peoples are in community. With each other.

She’s definitely a First in my books.

 This is my Canada on IWD2016. #YouAreEmpowering

The Legend of The Tall Poppy


Have you heard about The Tall Poppy?

She grew from a small poppy, just like all the other poppies in the field. Just like them, she was colourful, graceful, delicate even – yet strong as she gently bent with the breeze. As she grew tall, she kept reaching up to the brilliant sun. Even on cloudy days, she kept reaching up. She knew she was meant to be tall, to reach higher.

Soon she found herself growing a little bit taller than the other poppies.  She didn’t mind, she was only reaching for the sun, after all. The sun that shined on her brilliant colours, basked her in its warmth and radiated her joy in Being a Poppy.

After a time The Tall Poppy stood out.

The other poppies were similar in height, small compared to The Tall Poppy. They noticed how much taller she was, and saw her as different. Who did she think she was? Didn’t she know about the mean birds? Didn’t she know they would swoop down and cut her head off? 

And so they told her. Don’t get too big for your britches!! She thought: What the heck are “britches“?

After another time, The Tall Poppy saw what happened to the other Tall Poppy – way out there in the next field, tormented by mean birds – and began to duck her pretty head, to shrink her size as much as she could. If I don’t stand out so much, maybe I’ll be safe!

Still she stood out from the other poppies, who worried The Tall Poppy would attract the attention of the mean birds to their field and attack them. And so they began to shy away from her, create distance.

The Tall Poppy began to feel isolated, alone.

The more the others leaned away from The Tall Poppy, the more she stood out – vulnerable to the ravages of the wind, the rain and the mean birds.

She didn’t want to be a Fall Poppy™ – you know, the one that takes the fatal hit? While others tsk, see that’s what happens when you get too big for your britches.

She tried to shrink even more, to hide her brilliant colours, to retreat from her beloved Sun. In fact, the more she tried to shrink herself, the more she forgot about the Sun, about how it gave her joy and illuminated her brilliance.

*Now lest you think this is a tragic tale – wait for it – the Turning Point is coming! And just like every Legend, the bounds of credulity will be stretched a teeny bit…*

Then one day, (*classic turning point* 😉 ) The Tall Poppy thought to herself: I just want to be ME! This isn’t who I am, who I am meant to be. I’m just Tall. That’s all.

And so, she began to reach back up into her full tall poppy-ness, to let her brilliant colours shine out and to bask in the joy of her beloved Sun again. Oh I have missed this! I never want to shrink away from my own glory again!

As The Tall Poppy revealed herself again, she found she grew even taller, even more brilliant, even more glorious!

But – still she was alone. The other poppies didn’t know what to make of her, what to think of her or say about her. Some were unkind. Perhaps they wished they could be as brave? Perhaps shine their own colours a wee bit more, as they reached for the Sun in their own way, in their own time?

Her sadness at being alone – toughing it out when the winds blew, dodging the mean birds when they flew – dimmed her light from time to time.

Then one day, (*classic turning point #2* :)) The Tall Poppy looked across at the other fields, noticing the other Tall Poppies standing alone in their fields. Each was surviving out there, alone.

She caught the eye of one of the Tall Poppies, who inclined her petals in acknowledgement – Yes, we do rather stand out, don’t we? (*I did tell you the bounds of credulity would be stretched a teeny bit…right?* 😉 )

Shall we stand out together? Shall we tell each other stories about how wonderful it is to reach for the Sun?

As The Tall Poppies found strength and solace in each other, knowing there where other tall poppies out in the other fields, they began to notice something they hadn’t expected. Some of the other poppies around them were standing taller, unfurling more, shining more of their brilliance up toward the Sun! They had been tall poppies too, pretending to be shrinking violets. Even the small poppies began to shine their own colours a bit brighter too.

The Tall Poppy began to notice something else too. The more tall poppies she hung out with, whether in their own field or across at other fields, the more The Tall Poppy thrived.

Think about it.

The End.

Tall Poppy

*If you liked this story, and would like to hear more about The Tall Poppy, and especially if you’re a Tall Poppy who wants to thrive with other Tall Poppies, sign up for early-bird notification of The Tall Poppy Revolution™!

What Stops You From “Going For It”?

Personal Power: Go after what you want

~ Nora Roberts

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about when women don’t “go for it”, when we let our ambitious dreams and goals slide. When we keep our personal power on a leash.

Maybe we’re taking care of others’ feelings (so we don’t “outshine” them).

Maybe we’re afraid of how far our light could truly shine because of the responsibility it might bring, and we don’t know (yet) quite how we will deal with it.

Or maybe it’s because going for it would mean we no longer fit the mold of what a “good girl” would do (or a good wife/girlfriend/partner, good mother, best friend…you get the picture).

Oh yeah…this one is up for me. Big time.

And I wonder if it is for you too?

Are there places where you don’t go for it?

Where you stop yourself from really letting your brilliance, your fully expressed self, or your very own luminous light really shine?

Maybe you’ve done this in the past. Maybe you’ve stopped dreaming (cuz it hurts too much).

Or maybe you’ve found your way through and have become unstoppable!

I would love to know, either way. I would love to know what stops you, or has stopped you in the past. When you don’t go for it.

Will you help me find out why we don’t go for it? Why we give away our power?

By filling out this quick survey, you will help identify where and why many women give away their power, stop shining the full wattage of their brilliance and don’t go for it.

Click below to share your thoughts:

 What's Stopping You?

 

Here’s the thing: I want to help you shine your light. It’s my mission to help women access a bigger piece of the pie, shine their brilliance on the world’s problems and go for what they really want.

I promise you this: I will share the results of my survey with you, plus tips for how to bring your personal power up and let your light shine!

Personal Power: If you want something, go get it.

I can’t wait to hear your stories, and share those results with you!

PS. Here’s the Quick Survey link again: What's Stopping You?